Do You Love Me?

“Tell my I’m clever,
Tell me I’m kind,
Tell me I’m talented,
Tell me I’m cute,
Tell me I’m sensitive,
Graceful and Wise
Tell me I’m perfect–
But tell me the TRUTH.”

― Shel Silverstein, Falling Up

To the little girl,

I saw you peaking out today. You were scared and you felt so alone. I could see it in your eye. I think I saw because I saw a part of you calling out to me as I watched the young children play. I saw the hunger for attention. I felt their need for love. I saw parts of you who I thought lived and died, but I recognized you weren’t completely dead…just quiet and left alone. I wanted to bring you out. I wanted to tell you I saw. I wanted to finally tell you, “I know you were here.” I did hear you say, “she doesn’t even know we’re here.” I do. I do know. I do know now.

Don’t be so afraid.

There were many times in your life that hiding was a better way to exist. I appreciate what you did. Now, you don’t have to hide. You can come out and play. There is someone I’ve been meaning to show you. He is really gentle to his soul. He is so much more apart of me than I ever dreamed or imagined. I know you’ll burst out in laughter as you two play. I know you’ll love again, if only you’ll stay. I know you’ll know that you are God’s special treasure, and one day you will believe that in spite of what happened you were made for love. So, begin to trust me. I will not hurt you.

Don’t feel so alone.

My heart aches for you. I don’t honestly know when your hurt began. But, I see the little girl standing with a halter top, hands on her hips smiling as bright as day. I know that is you. You were always with me. I just couldn’t see. I’m sorry you felt so alone. Now, I feel so alone, too. Why don’t you sit beside me?

I’m imagining that secret place…that secret place for you and me…for no one else just you and me.

I’m struggling with lots of questions. I’m not even sure you’ll have the words to answer.

Were you that little girl who visited me on the park bench, and later told me that you needed to go but I couldn’t understand? I grieved for her for so hard and long.

Was it true you needed to leave in order for me to live?

Are you the one who brings me to a place of love that my heart yearns to its very core?

Don’t go away. Please, don’t go away. If you go away, I know now you are there. I’ll be here when you find you’re at that place again.

We’ll go to that secret place, a secret place for you and me…for no one else just you and me.

If I could show you I love you, I would wrap my arms around you and just lay my head on your shoulders. You’d feel that warmth and connection no one else could ever give. I would brush with the tips of my fingers the baby hairs lining where you forehead meets your hair line. I’d kiss that little spot. I wouldn’t do anything more. But, tell  you that I love you.

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